My journey to what I now believe has included doubt, faith, struggle, failure, prayer, and study. The path from Free Will Baptist to Lutheran included stops within the Southern Baptist Convention and the Presbyterian Church in America. I’ve written and wrestled throughout the process, but I thought it might be helpful to give an overview.
Fundamentals and Fundamentalists
The concrete nature of fundamentalism in a local church steadied significant chaotic aspects of my childhood. As I matured in my faith, I reacted harshly against fundamentalism and still have to be cautious as I interact with those still in that camp. However, I’m trying to understand the importance of the fundamentals while also recognizing the dangers inherent in fundamentalism.
The precious believers in that fundamentalist church were sincere. I grew to have deep convictions that differed from many of theirs, but I’ve also grown to appreciate that they told me about God’s love, Jesus’ death and resurrection, and my need for Him.
Nonetheless, I could not abide by the legalism that questioned salvation over dancing, going to the movies, or listening to rock-n-roll. Understanding the difference between the fundamentals of faith and fundamentalism as a movement can help to properly critique the latter while being gracious to those who want to uphold the former.
The Young, Restless, and Reformed
In my senior year of high school and my first year of bible college, the writings and ministries of John Piper and R.C. Sproul shook my theological world. My fundamentalist foundation encountered the young, restless, and reformed movement. Calvinism provided an intellectual framework and steadying comfort in the void where fundamentalism had been.
At the time, I failed to realize that I had traded an external performance-based paradigm for an introspective performance-based one. The young, restless, and reformed movement certainly did emphasize the gospel more; however, there was still an emphasis on performance as it related to assurance within sanctification that caused struggle.
Desiring God, Ligonier, and 9 Marks offered a rooted faith that didn’t bypass the mind in calling for holiness. Those para-church organizations were excellent at resonating with so many who longed for a combination of passion for God and Biblical faithfulness. Churches essentially parroted the emphases and strategies put forth by those organizations. Despite the good that can come from exegetical rigor and appeal to personal and passionate piety, a gap of comfort, peace, and grace can leave us disenchanted and discouraged.
The Older, Tired, and Orthodox
The restless aspect of the young, restless, and reformed inevitably became spiritual exhaustion. I could not live up to the pietistic bent that much of the reformed tradition espouses. A little age, soul searching, deep study, a random visit, and a lot of grace led me to Lutheranism.
While the Reformed and Lutherans have much in common, the distinctions resulted in spiritual frustration or renewal for me, respectively. Others may feel precisely the opposite. The Reformed tradition tended toward descriptive theology, while the Lutheran tradition leaned toward prescriptive theology. One tradition takes great care to go into systematic detail about the cure, analyzing the ingredients, detailing the effects, and highlighting the backstory. The other tradition focuses on giving medicine.
It’s a matter of emphasis, not orthodoxy. What does one view as the gravitational core of the faith? What is the center? Go too far in one direction, and the gravity is so heavy that guilt and failure crush you. Head too far in the other direction, and there is so little gravity that you become unmoored from truth and grace. Both traditions have enough gravity to keep you anchored in orthodoxy, but I’m convinced by scripture a greater focus on the gospel is needed and fruitful. Preaching is an excellent example of the difference.
A Word of Comfort
Ten years ago, a theological ted talk or a particularly cutting law-based sermon would have been my definition of good preaching. A steady diet of that kind of ministry can expand one’s theological intellect yet leave you spiritually thirsty. Do a quick search of the word “preach” used as a verb, and you’ll see that it’s overwhelmingly connected to “good news” and “the gospel.”
Jesus rebuked the religious who searched the scriptures yet were blind to their testimony of Him unto eternal life (John 5:38-40). After the resurrection, Jesus interpreted the scriptures on the road to Emmaus all the things concerning Himself (Luke 24:27). Then He opened the minds of His disciples to see the fulfillment of the law, the prophets, and the Psalms to proclaim the suffering and rising of Christ toward repentance for the forgiveness of sins (Luke 24:44-47).
Beyond signs and wisdom, Paul preached the stumbling block of Christ crucified (1 Corinthians 1:23) and reiterated this focus on Christ Crucified, not dependent on wisdom or lofty speech (1 Corinthians 2:1-2). Paul’s encouraging word to those in Antioch highlighted Israel’s history and the good news of the death and resurrection of Christ, which grants freedom that Moses’ law could not (Acts 13:16-41). The hearers were begging to be told these things again on the next Sabbath (Acts 13:42).
These passages are a small sampling of the gospel-centered nature of scripture and preaching. Being a part of services with such a focus brought peace, grace, consolation, and rest to my tired soul. However, that was a side effect of what I believe is a biblical emphasis on the centrality of Christ for sinners. The law must crush us, and the gospel must grant us the comfort that only comes through Christ.
It wasn’t an easy journey, and my Baptistic and Calvinistic presuppositions linger. I don’t expect everyone to make the changes I’ve made or to follow my thoughts to my conclusions. I still have to be careful not to judge others who differ with my perspective too harshly while also being willing to engage critically in a manner honoring God and faithful to His gospel. If you find yourself spiritually fatigued, perhaps my journey might inspire you to challenge your presuppositions.